Love (2012)

*note: this was written in 2012, during a time when I thought I was in love with the person who ended up abusing me for over a year. I thought I'd post this to show how blind we can be when we think we've found the validation we need to survive. The day I wrote this, just hours after I'd finished it, he began attacking me.

before i fell in love

i planned to go to berkeley, maybe ucla.

somewhere far from home.

maybe montreal

and

i’d learn five new languages

and

become a professional

something

and

perish in a beautiful explosion.

before i fell in love

i wanted to write novels, maybe plays.

i wrote a ten page musical

and

a letter to a celebrity

and

i planned to find him

and

fall in love

but

i forgot the stamp

and

it was never sent.

now

whereas i used to weep over the unsent letter

now

i rejoice

because what if

and

what if i never met you

because i’d gone to berkeley

maybe ucla

what if

i never met you